Experiencing anxiety is normal before making a big leap, like becoming exclusive or starting a family, says Wendy Walsh, Ph.D., author of The 30-Day Love Detox. “But if you’re having major doubts, don’t assume with it things will be different.”
Make it work: try a trial run
When manufacturers develop new products, they test it in as many situations as possible to ensure its efficacy. A ‘beta test’ can also determine whether your love-life concerns are valid. If you’re waffling over the staying power of a fledgling relationship, for example , ask your guy to spend a weekend away with you, suggest David Hauser, Ph.D., a psychologist at the Family Institute at Northwestern University. “Interacting with your partner in a different environment can reveal a side of him you hadn’t been privy to before.”
Thinking about having children? Babysit a pal’s little one to learn whether your guy is kid-friendly. If you can’t shake a nagging doubt, though, trust your gut. In a Florida State University study, newlyweds who said they were happy in their relationship but subconsciously associated their spouses with negative words were more likely than others to have unhappy marriages four years later – suggesting they knew trouble was lurking all along.